Part of sharing the news is that you then have to deal with comments from the people you know. Most people mean well, but sometimes things sound “off” to an expectant parent. Sometimes people say things that might make you feel uncomfortable. Then, you often need to decide whether respond or not. You might also end up wishing you had said something differently. Some experienced parents below share their insights about useful strategies, some of the best responses they used, and how those responses helped their state of mind.
Many expectant parents also become very sensitive to words they hear, including slang such as the use of the R-word (“retarded”). Many parents are hurt and unsure of how to handle this. If they confront their loved ones, things can get very awkward. If they say nothing, they may feel disappointed in themselves for not sticking up for their child. This is new social territory for you, and it can be very confusing.
Our Resources
We also have a booklet for your loved ones, “Your Loved One Is Having a Baby with Down Syndrome,” that can help friends and family understand the diagnosis better and can help them learn some ideas for supporting you.
See also: Sharing the News with Friends and Family chapter in our book, “Diagnosis to Delivery: A Pregnant Mother’s Guide to Down Syndrome.”
