Sometimes when in the stress of pregnancy post-diagnosis, a negative comment can send us reeling, and may actually drown out the many positive comments we hear. However, there are extraordinary people out there. People who rise to the occasion and give a piece of themselves to give genuine, loving support. Focusing on their words and their actions, their support can help build our confidence and reinforce the knowledge that the world is a welcoming place for our children.
Sometimes that support comes from friends and loved ones who dive in to learn more about Down syndrome and the available resources so that they understand our children a little better and how to help them achieve their potential. Other times that support comes in the form of friends visiting the hospital and bringing blankets, stuffed animals, and candy to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit. That support can also include comments that welcome our children into the world, like the nurse who says “Congratulations! You’re baby is precious,” or comments that shape our understanding about disability, like a friend who shares, “My cousin has Down syndrome, and she’s an important part of our family. We love her.”
Our Resources
Friends and family can read more about how they can offer this kind of positive support in our booklet, “Your Loved One Is Having a Baby with Down Syndrome.”
See also: Sharing the News with Friends and Family chapter in our book, “Diagnosis to Delivery: A Pregnant Mother’s Guide to Down Syndrome.”
More Articles/Resources
The Best Things I’ve Heard as a Mom of a Child With Down Syndrome by Maureen Wallace
Sample Letters of Thanks
Below are sample letters of thanks for friends and family who have offered particularly meaningful support during your pregnancy, one for a present pregnancy, and one for a past pregnancy. Edit as much as you need to match your circumstances.
Current Pregnancy Letter of Thanks
Dear _______,
As you know, I am currently __ months pregnant with our baby boy/ girl name. I was upset when you told me (or I found out) that ____ has Down syndrome (and name other issue if applicable). We have been adjusting, and learning, and hoping.
I have had a tough time with the reactions of some people, and that has been difficult. But receiving amazing support from others has helped me so much.
You are one of the people who helped me. (Explain how this person helped you. Examples: When you told us the baby has Down syndrome, you said, “….” When I told you the baby has Down syndrome, you did . . . . Or, alternatively, in trying to envision our future, I remembered . . . (something about your memories of that person or her family that help you now). Try to provide some details.)
When I think about you (or what you said, or what you did), I feel better able to handle the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy post-diagnosis, and hopeful for the future of my child.
You have made a difference to me, to my baby, and my family. I will never forget your kindness. Thank you.
Past Pregnancy Letter of Thanks
Dear _______,
As you may remember, I received a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome (and other medical issue) last year (or other date). I gave birth to my beautiful son/ daughter Name on Date. I was upset when you told me (or I found out) that ____ has Down syndrome (and name other issue if applicable). The remainder of our pregnancy was an emotional roller coaster, but I am happy to report that (some details about your child).
During my pregnancy, I had a tough time with the reactions of some people, and that was difficult. But seeing the amazing support from others helped me through that time.
You are one of the people who helped me. (Explain how this person helped you. Examples: When you told us the baby has Down syndrome, you said, “….” When I told you the baby has Down syndrome, you did . . . . Or, alternatively, in trying to envision our future, I remember . . . (something about your memories of that person or her family that help you now). Try to provide some details.)
When I think about you (or what you said, or what you did), I feel so grateful for the support you gave me.
You have made a difference to me, to my baby, and my family. I will never forget your kindness. Thank you.
Sample Letters of Thanks
Below are sample letters of thanks for friends and family who have offered particularly meaningful support during your pregnancy, one for a present pregnancy, and one for a past pregnancy. Edit as much as you need to match your circumstances.
Current Pregnancy Letter of Thanks
Dear _______,
As you know, I am currently __ months pregnant with our baby boy/ girl name. I was upset when you told me (or I found out) that ____ has Down syndrome (and name other issue if applicable). We have been adjusting, and learning, and hoping.
I have had a tough time with the reactions of some people, and that has been difficult. But receiving amazing support from others has helped me so much.
You are one of the people who helped me. (Explain how this person helped you. Examples: When you told us the baby has Down syndrome, you said, “….” When I told you the baby has Down syndrome, you did . . . . Or, alternatively, in trying to envision our future, I remembered . . . (something about your memories of that person or her family that help you now). Try to provide some details.)
When I think about you (or what you said, or what you did), I feel better able to handle the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy post-diagnosis, and hopeful for the future of my child.
You have made a difference to me, to my baby, and my family. I will never forget your kindness. Thank you.
Past Pregnancy Letter of Thanks
Dear _______,
As you may remember, I received a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome (and other medical issue) last year (or other date). I gave birth to my beautiful son/ daughter Name on Date. I was upset when you told me (or I found out) that ____ has Down syndrome (and name other issue if applicable). The remainder of our pregnancy was an emotional roller coaster, but I am happy to report that (some details about your child).
During my pregnancy, I had a tough time with the reactions of some people, and that was difficult. But seeing the amazing support from others helped me through that time.
You are one of the people who helped me. (Explain how this person helped you. Examples: When you told us the baby has Down syndrome, you said, “….” When I told you the baby has Down syndrome, you did . . . . Or, alternatively, in trying to envision our future, I remember . . . (something about your memories of that person or her family that help you now). Try to provide some details.)
When I think about you (or what you said, or what you did), I feel so grateful for the support you gave me.
You have made a difference to me, to my baby, and my family. I will never forget your kindness. Thank you.
